| How I Became a Midwife |
How I became a Midwife
I was sick a lot as a little girl; in fact when I was four I had rheumatic fever. I was told by my Grandmother years later that when I was sick my mother wrote to Ann Landers and asked people to pray for me. One of the consequences of the disease is a permanent heart murmur and they had concerns. As a result of the letter I received cards and well wishes from all over the country. One particular childhood memory of mine is a photograph in the family album of me sitting in bed looking at a pile of those cards.
I got well and to this day my heart is perfectly fine…………I have no murmur!
But I do remember going to the doctor's office and sitting in the waiting room a lot.
On one of those visits I remember looking at a magazine that had photographs of babies in utero. It was new technology at the time and I was absolutely fascinated with the pictures. I looked at them over and over. Turned the pages back and looked at them again. I was about seven.
I think that was the beginning. You might call it my first layer.
When I was around nine I was with my mother one time when she was visiting a younger mother and as I overheard their conversation about the woman's upcoming birth I heard my mother say, "All you have to do is relax." Layer number two.
Years later my Grandmother had a health-food store in an extra bedroom of her house and that laid down yet another layer.
I have often referred to my Mother as a woman ahead of her time. She was eclectic, independent, intelligent and talented. She introduced me to a wide variety of experiences. I knew what proper food combining was, how to make yogurt, and what a slant board was used for when I was 11. It was not a narrow-minded up-bringing.
When she was pregnant with me she actually asked her doctor if she could take a camera into the delivery room! This was unheard of in 1956. Men were still out in the waiting room! Her request was denied.
When I was pregnant with my first baby I was watching T.V. with my Grandmother one day when we saw Ina May Gaskin talking about the home birth movement and her place in Tennessee. I looked at my Grandmother and said, "I could have this baby at home." To which she responded, "Yes, you could."
It turns out I had my firstborn in the hospital on June 1, 1974.
When I was pregnant with my second child I was involved with a home fellowship that included a family who had delivered two babies at home and were planning for their third home birth.
I enjoyed talking with the mother about her experiences and naturally one thing led to another. Soon I was reading Rahima Baldwin's book Special Delivery and planning my own home birth.
I heard at the time there was a doctor in the area who would report families for child neglect if he was aware of planned births outside the hospital. I didn't tell anybody.
My second-born came on December 19, 1980 after an hour and 50 minutes of labor. My husband and I were the only people in the room when he was born.
By the time I was pregnant with my third baby I was in active "midwife shopping" mode. I found a couple of midwives who worked together as a team who lived about an hour away and they became my attendants.
It was while I was pregnant with my daughter that I knew someday I would be a midwife. Something just clicked and felt right to me. It was deep in me and certain. I began to buy books and subscribe to newsletters and periodicals, and the studying began.
My daughter arrived on October 3, 1984.
I remember praying in those days that God would use me to help women, to bless my sisters. Not only in the moments of birth, but in the larger picture of beginning small and working bigger.
Birth bonds mothers and babies. When that happens then we have stronger families and if that's so then we have stronger communities which ultimately affect the whole world.
I wanted to be at the beginning………….to see things start off in good fashion.
The place of being between a woman's knees and assisting her in her work, is by invitation, is a servant role, and there are times that to this day I feel inadequate to participate in it.
God heard my prayer and has consistently opened doors for me along the way. At any given juncture He has allowed me to pursue my heart's desire and given me the opportunities I needed……….when I needed them. Layer upon layer.
One day while I was cleaning house I reached down to pick up a piece of paper that I stuffed into my pocket so I could continue vacuuming. Later when I was cleaning out my pockets I started to throw it away, but thought I better see what it was first. I don't know where it came from or how it got there, but it was a card to send in to get information about studying midwifery.
I discussed it with my Grandmother who encouraged me all the way, and I have been involved ever since.
I had the opportunity to move to Arkansas in 1987. I knew I could obtain an apprenticeship here and that became one of the primary reasons for moving to the area.
The first call I made when I got my phone installed was to a local midwife asking her if I could apprentice. She was not taking anyone at the time so I had to wait. Which I did. Impatiently. Six months later when it was time to contact her again I learned she had taken on someone else. I hadn't even been interviewed! The wind had been knocked out of my sails.
I was disappointed, contacted others, tried to arrange my own opportunities, but not much happened.
One woman who had recently become licensed herself talked to me about apprenticing; she had just taken on an apprentice, so I would need to wait about two years to begin.
I would take the back seat while the other woman sat in the front, that way I would be in position for the next apprenticeship.
One day, unexpectedly, that midwife called me on the phone and said her apprentice had decided it was not a good time in her life to pursue midwifery so would I like to start now?!
YES!!
I said I would and we discussed when and where to get together.
On the outside I was calm and mature, but on the inside I was jumping up and down, hollering and ecstatic!
A valuable lesson occurred then. I had been trying to make this thing happen and was struggling to bring it to pass, but when I laid it down…………. God placed it in my lap.
I worked with this midwife for three years and eventually attended births with other area midwives as well.
I apprenticed, took my test, got licensed and have been catching babies ever since.
A long time ago I wrote something that in part says, "Families allow me to see their lives. Sometimes I feel like averting my eyes when a husband whispers to his wife in labor how beautiful she is, or as he massages her. At these times I am a guest in the inner sanctum of their relationship."
I feel truly blessed to be able to do this.
Janessa Craig, L.M.
July 4, 2009